Is he gone forever? Will he ever come back to me? Have I done something wrong?
These are just a few of the questions running through every woman’s head when her partner starts pulling away.
If you’ve had a similar experience, you probably wonder why something like that happened to your seemingly perfect relationship. And the fact that you can’t do much to change things makes it even more frustrating.
So, what’s the deal? Why has your loving partner started distancing himself from you, and is he ever coming back? Is this a sign of him cheating on you?
We put together a list that might explain why your man is acting cold and how to get things back to normal.
Why do guys pull away, and what to do about it?
He has a lot on his plate
According to popular psychology, men and women tend to solve problems differently. While most women cope with a difficult situation by discussing it with their friends or partners, men prefer to deal with things internally.
Maybe he just has a lot on his plate, and he is not ready to be vocal about what’s bothering him. It’s not that he doesn’t care. He probably doesn’t want you to see him scared or worried.
It’s in men’s nature to be the problem-solvers and protectors.
Give him some space, and once he comes up with a solution to whatever has been bothering him, he will come back to you ready to discuss things.
He thinks you are no longer the woman he fell in love with
People change, and that’s a fact.
Especially if you are together for years, chances are, you have both changed. But is it for the better or worse? Have you started taking each other for granted?
If your long-time partner has begun withdrawing, maybe he thinks you have changed to the point he no longer recognizes you.
It can be a change in character he doesn’t like or approve of. Maybe you have developed traits over the years that make you feel or sound like a completely different woman than the one he fell in love with.
Looks can also play a part in it. It’s not that men only look for a pretty face, but you must understand that appearance is very important to some people, and that’s still alright.
If you want to get your partner back, show him what he liked about you when you first started dating. Juggle his memory, and he will realize you are the same woman he found irresistible years ago.
He needs some time alone to figure out his priorities
When your partner starts pulling away, it can be a big deal for both of you, but it doesn’t always mean the relationship is over.
People acquire new goals and strive for a better life, so change isn’t necessarily bad. Maybe your partner just needs some time alone to sort his thoughts out.
But if we are sincere, he may find out that you are no longer a priority in his life, and he wants to focus his time and energy on something else.
Whichever comes to be true, please give him space to think if you want him back.
If you were meant to be, he would choose you over anything else, but even if he doesn’t, things will still work out just fine.
Your sex life is dull and predictable
You used to have a passionate, steamy sex life, and now you are barely intimate.
Truth be told, men need sex, and no man would ever turn down action under the sheets with the woman he loves.
But maybe you have both become ‘lazy’ in bed. Predictability is passion’s worst enemy!
However, nothing is lost, at least not if you put some effort into the art of seduction.
Men are all about visuals. Put on something more revealing, send him a steamy pic or two, spice it up with sexting…
Show your man how much you desire him, and he will warm up to you in no time.
You spend every waking minute together
It doesn’t mean it’s his or your fault if your partner starts pulling away.
Maybe it’s the relationship that’s making him frustrated, especially if he feels he doesn’t have time for anything or anyone else but you.
There is nothing to talk about; whatever happens, you already know about it. Plus, Netflix & Chill gets old after a while. Nothing gets you excited anymore.
Just like women, men, too, need time for their friends, family, hobbies, or any other interests that make their day-to-day life.
Whenever you feel like he is withdrawing or acting cold, give him a reason to miss you. Make yourself less available and give him space to breathe.
After all, people appreciate more what they can’t easily get.
He doesn’t feel man enough
Most males prefer to be the “alpha” in the relationship – the one who wears the pants.
Men can’t stand when people tell them that their wife/girlfriend has them on a leash.
Comments like that are a hard blow to their ego, and they may pull away, mostly because they want to prove to themselves that they will do just fine without their “better half.”
Maybe you should loosen your grip if you want your man back. Don’t nag him if you notice he is withdrawing. Let him miss you, and he will probably come back a better man.
He is afraid to commit to you
Men are afraid of commitment for many reasons, from not imagining spending their life with only one woman to protecting their hearts from being broken.
But, if you’ve been together for years, he never took the relationship to the next level, and he has started withdrawing, your guy is most likely afraid to commit to you.
If this phase lasts for what seems to you forever, maybe it’s time to have a conversation just to be sure where you are standing.
He can’t stand your complaining
There is one common truth — men hate nagging.
However, that doesn’t mean you complain too much; the two of you simply communicate in different ways.
Women are from Venus, and Men are from Mars, right?
It’s just that constant complaining makes them feel like they can never do anything right, so they act cold and pull away.
Try to understand your partner’s position, especially if he openly tells you that you need to cut down the nagging.
He is going through a midlife crisis
When men go through a midlife crisis, they can seem withdrawn and act cold towards you.
They are aware that they are no longer in their prime and feel the need to reinvent themselves.
During this period, men become insecure about their bodies, performance in bed, shape, and fitness.
The best thing you can do is give him your full support and pretty much pretend nothing is going on.
He wants to end the relationship
The moment a man figures out he no longer wants to stay in this relationship, he will start pulling away from you.
No matter how hard it is, there is a chance he is just not that into you anymore. As we already said, people change.
If he feels you are not meant to be, and fights are common in your relationship, he may cool off completely.
And if that’s the case, there’s nothing much you can do except straight up ask him what’s going on.
Why do they come back after pulling away?
Men come back to their women because of many reasons, but these are the most common ones.
He regrets his decision
After the initial taste of freedom, men often realize that grass is not always greener on the other side. They may also realize they could have tried harder and give the relationship one more chance.
He couldn’t find a woman as good as you
He starts dating again and realizes that your shortcomings that made him go away were not compared to what he sees in all these other women.
He blames himself for breaking your heart
Men truly despise breaking a woman’s heart, especially if she loved them. The guilt may drive him back to you, though it may not always be because of love.
Final thoughts on why guys pull away and then come back
If you truly believe that the guy is worth it for you to put in the effort, then give him space.
Maybe he needs to be apart from you to get things straight in his mind and realize how much he needs you. Men process things differently.
Suggest some changes to make your relationship more comfortable for him. Be patient, and he will come back to you at some point.